There has been more than one moment when I have heard myself say or think something and then immediately hears myself say/think "God, First World Pet Peeves much?"
The struggle is real.
To better convey the deep seeded displeasure I have with these mild inconveniences, I have brought in the support of my good buddies - 'gifs' (pronounced JUH-iffs... like... Jiffy peanut butter without the "y" at the end. Not Gifs pronounced like you're trying to make a cartoonish and comedic swallow noise. Get it together.).
1. Black Friday Sales.... In Store Only!
2. Commercials on Youtube that you can't Click to Skip
If I can't click past you, you better guarantee your company just made the list of 'shit I will never buy simply on principle and curmudgeon-mindset alone. I'm looking at you, Ford vehicles.
3. Dishes that can't go in the dishwasher
4. Burning things onto nonstick pots
5. Glitchy streaming from my macbook to my apple tv
6. When I charge/sync my ipod and it doesn't actually do anything
7. Bugs in nature
8. My GI Tract's response to Indian Food
Like... I'm gonna keep buying it. I'm gonna keep eating it. And I'm gonna keep having to be single. I'm just saying.
9. When the Liquor Store discontinued my favorite low calorie low alcohol wine (Late Harvest, obvi)
10. Buying a realistic artificial Christmas Tree
Last year I was putting it up (I even made a youtube video about it which I have since removed because nobody needs to see that) I accidentally stabbed myself on one of the metal pieces and bled and was concerned for a solid hour or two that I might need to get a Tetanus shot. Legit.
Long story short I decided after I moved out of Newfoundland that I would buy a new Christmas tree. But turns out Christmas trees are expensive AF (I thought mad like 125 bucks). Also, the more I thought about buying one the more lofty goals I made for my potential new tree such that now it needs to be at least 7 feet tall, totally real looking without being actually real (because Ezra eats trees...and candles...and pee pads...), already pre-lit with non-LED lights that are both coloured (for when I'm feeling festive) and all white (for when I'm feeling classy). Do you know how much a tree like that costs!? Like... a billion dollars. I can't even.
We're going to end up having to decorate a construction paper tree or something because I'm not made of money, Balsam Hill!!!
So now I have no christmas tree, because black friday only allows me to get 50% off trees and that just ain't enough when you want the same tree that the family's on that show The OC probably couldn't afford. Seriously, if i'm gonna spend that kind of money on a holiday that shit is going up for at LEAST 4 months.